


ass-vore-vunion fun

by Lila17



Category: Original Work
Genre: American Politics, Ass Void/Vore shipname- Ass Vore, FYI, Other, Raw Onion/Ass Void shipname- Raw Ass, just to be clear all three of those characters are ancient deities of their element, origin story for vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15807177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lila17/pseuds/Lila17
Summary: If God struck me down at this singular moment, I would not complain.





	ass-vore-vunion fun

"Oh Onion!  _Onion_!" Ass Void cried out.

 

"yeah that's my name!!" Onion, Raw, MD yelled back.

 

" _Oh_!" Ass Void moaned. "But an onion by any other name would still burn just as much, wouldn't it?"

 

"oh, exactly," Onion said, who besides being a doctor also had a degree in literature

 

Ass Void's void-ass rippled. The bedframe shook. It was too strong, and Onion suddenly felt that something was terribly wrong.

 

"Ass Void? Assy? Speak to me, are you okay-?"

 

Ass Void shook again, the tremors demolishing a nearby Walmart. "Oh, Onion...I always knew our time together would be limited..." They started crying. 

 

"Assy?" Onion said, now alarmed. "Why are you crying? We're not even to the biting stage of this sexy time yet, you haven't even begun to breach my smooth, violet onion surface-"

 

"I'm dying!" Ass Void suddenly screeched out with the force of a banshee. "I'm a  _void_ , Onion! A complete void in time and space! Per the laws of physics, I was never supposed to exist! I'll collapse soon, disintegrate into the nothingness that I was always supposed to be, unless..."

 

"Unless?" Onion said desperately, their voice ragged.

 

"Unless..." Ass Void said, their void-ass eyes shining with tears and their void-voice suddenly distorting with a strange breathiness. "Someone goes in and completely fills me up."

 

Raw Onion MD didn't hesitate for a second. They knew their calling. They turned on the tip of their onion root and went into the adjacent room, surveying all the sex toys they had bought and adapted for the use of an ass-void and an onion. They looked through all 979 of their adapted dildos (979 being the number of plants in the Allium genus, Onion's home family <3), impatient and worried to try to help their beloved lover Ass Void, but nothing seemed right. After a few scant minutes of searching, they themselves were already near tears.

 

And then they realized. They realized that no dildo, no matter how massive, could possibly do for this job. Because there's only one thing larger than a large dildo.

 

_A loving heart._

 

Onion spun on their root again and sprinted back to the bedroom, straight at Ass-Void. In one smooth movement, they jumped and dived inside of Ass-Void, disappearing completely. Ass-Void shrieked and attempted to stop them, but the deed had been done.

 

Raw Onion MD was gone. The ultimate act of Love had been completed. Ass-Void had been Filled, and was now Stable.

 

not emotionally stable, tho, mind you. They were weeping hysterically at the sacrifice of their lover.

 

 _And in that moment_ \- their love was so strong it attracted the attention of the Gods. The big ones- not the tiny ones for specific things like Raw Onions That Have Degrees In Medicine As Well As Literature (which, you know, hardly _ever_ appear- there's only been two of them in recorded history! The first one caused the downfall of Atlantis and the second one was the second shooter in the JFK assassination)

 

It attracted the attention of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, and Zeus, the most sexually active person in Olympus, and both Romeo and Juliet, the patron saints of Really Big Dumbfuck Love. And they decided that this act of love and sacrifice could not be forgotten.

 

They would make a new God, to describe and commemorate this everlasting example of True Love. Since love was what it was, they could think of no other (more creative) way to name the new God than just a simple anagram of the word.

 

Love- elov. Levo. Velo. Olve. The possibilities were limitless, but they had to get it _right_. At last, they decided on the anagram Vole.

 

but oh shoot. wait. that was already the name of an animal or fucking something

 

They were stuck, until wise, long-suffering Athena rented an Uber from Donald Trump and dropped in to suggest that they change one of the letters of Vole to a letter from Raw Onion's name, to better give them tribute. Zeus and Aphrodite discussed this and submitted an inquiry via raven to Romeo and Juliet, and they sent back a reply in 3-5 business days and they all found it mutually pleasing, so they decided to go forward with it.

 

After many days and combinations, they finally decided to use the first letter of Raw Onion's first name as a replacement, and so named the new god, the new patron saint, of Raw Onion's act of love thusly:

 

Vore.

 

"it has a good ring to it" zeus said, and the rest agreed

 

And Ass Void mostly spent the rest of their days weeping hysterically, but also fucking with Vore sometimes when the two gods got too ~~horny~~ lonely, and Vore would one day go on to become an internet sensation, and all was well.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a serious fic this is for an inside joke on a discord server okay pleasedon'tkillmethanksbye


End file.
